Happy 1st Birthday

Dear AC,
Happy 1st Birthday! Oh, how I wish you were here to celebrate. I bought a 1st birthday shirt and matching bib when I was pregnant with you. I so wish I could have been able to use it. Instead, I put it on your Aidyn Bear. It's so very hard to think that it has been a year since I seen your precious face and was able to hold you. Some days it feels like it was just yesterday and others it feels like it has been an eternity.
We have had a pretty busy day so far.  We lit a candle for you this morning at the exact time you passed.  Daddy and I layed in bed and looked stared at your footprints and candle burning.  After a while we got around and went to visit you.  I put a ribbon on your cross that says "birthday boy".  After a visit with you we went to a monument place.  We were able to see what options we had.  We went out to lunch at Bennigans and then headed to a store to get you some balloons, but was unable to get them because they were out of helium (shortage i guess).  Instead I got you some other decorations to place at your resting place and a helium-less balloon. We then went to a landscaping place where we had a gift certificate (from grandma and grandpa L) to, to pick you out something special.  We were unable to decide so we will go back in the spring when were ready to make your garden. The next stop was another monument place to get a quote and see what our choices are.  We are pretty sure we know what we want.  We just need to make a few final decisions and submit it to them to make a rough draft for us to approve of.  Choosing a headstone is really hard.  We want it to be so perfect for you, but it never will be.  There's nothing perfect about a headstone for a baby. After that stop, we headed home.
In a little bit we are going to go visit you again and bring your decorations, puppy and cookie monster cupcakes, 1 year candle, hopefully the floating lantern, and sing you happy birthday.
We love you so much baby boy.  We can't wait to be with you again.  Living without you is extrememly hard.  I can't believe I was able to survive this long without you.  You're always on my mind.
I love you forever and ever AC! Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven!
Love-Mommy